Salt
by YouWishYouFeltBetter
Summary: I hated myself more than I hated everyone else. I was bruised and battered but I finally figured out my purpose in life. It was time for me to accept my fate. My second fanfic. Please review!
1. Salt

**This is my second fanfic and my first one didn't quite come out the way I wanted it to. So here's a fresh start. Also all rights to Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

><p>Salt<p>

I had never felt so alone... so vulnerable... so scared. Why did this happened? What did I do wrong? Obviously I

must have done something. There has to be some reason. Some reason why I felt so...so...cold. So dead inside.

There had to be some reason why I was up here in my room and they were all downstairs eating my mother's

cooking. Laughing and feasting, forgetting I even existed. Even my brother. He left me for them a long time ago. He

laughs and talks about me with them but I know he doesn't mean it. At least that's what he tells me or that's what I

like to believe. I stopped being a bitch. Now I'm just quiet. I let them have their laughs and I let them play their

jokes. It's no use anymore. I failed to keep up my wall. Just like I failed everything else in my life. I failed my mom,

my brother, my father, and most of all I failed Sam. That's why he left for me for my prettier, smarter, nicer cousin. I

tried to tell my self different, but what's the point. They didn't care about my pain. Them and everyone else rubbed

their "love" in my face. They purposely rubbed salt on my wounds. Those wounds that are much deeper than my

precious cousin's scars. A part of me hated myself for thinking karma had finally caught up with her. Sam would

probably rip my throat out if he heard my nasty thoughts about her. It's not like I would care. I had nothing left in my

life. Everything was ripped away from me thanks to the wolf gene in my body. '_God must truly hate me'_. It rained

outside my window. I had always loved the rain. It seemed so soothing in the past. It always washed all the salt

from my scars. All the words, all the jokes, and all the pain. I hadn't felt the rain's soothing effects in so long. I stood

up from my place on my bed and grabbed my shorts and my tank top. I tried my best to ignore the happy laughter of

the pack and my mother and her new husband,Charlie, of all the people in the world it had to be my father's best

friend. I jumped out of my window eager to feel the rain. I ran as far and as fast as I could to get away from my

cousin's engagement party. I didn't know where I was but I had reached a cliff. The land was unfamiliar but inviting.

I slowly crept to the side and peered over the edge of the cliff. The water swirled so softly. It banged into the

mountain side yet it made no noise. All I could hear were the painful jabs of my pack brothers, my mother's constant

comparing of me and Emily. I always knew that Emily was my mother's ideal type of daughter. I knew I would never

match up. _'Sweetheart Emily and Sam are in love. I know you are hurt, but you need to stop being so selfish and be _

_happy for them. They've accepted their fate. Now you need to do the same'. _It wasn't until then did I finally understand

my fate. It was to suffer and be lonely.I was meant to be this way. This was my punishment. For what...well I really

don't know but who am I to challenge God. I know now why I was brought to this cliff. I stood up and allowed the

rain to wash away all my sins. This was it. No more Sam. No more Emily. No more pack. No more imprints. I was

done. With life...with everything. So...I jumped. The feel of the wind and the rain was amazing. I had never felt so

free. I finally let go and then I landed. Right into the ocean. The water was a lot stronger than it looked. It pulled me

down and I didn't fight it. I didn't think about anything. I knew any thought of my family would bring me to start

fighting the water. So I let it drag me further and further. The water pressure was like a weight on my chest and the

water was so dark I couldn't see so I closed my eyes one last time. The water was ice cold but every part of my

body was on fire. As I floated down I allowed myself to think of my family and I felt a little surge of hope. But I knew

better. They didn't want me there so what was the point of having hope. Then I felt it. The pain and the burning was

leaving. I felt weightless and...happy. I laughed underwater and released my last bit of air.

* * *

><p>I feel so confident about this one. This is the best I've written in a long time. I'd also like to start on some new material. So hopefully if this gets good reviews I can start brainstorming. Please R&amp;R<p> 


	2. Fix You

**So thanks to some pretty positive reviews I have decided to add some chapters to this story. I was pretty happy with it at first but I was up all night thinking of ideas for this story and I just had to try it out before my head exploded. So here's the second chapter and please feel free to review.**

* * *

><p><strong>? POV<strong>

_'Damn she's beautiful'. _This girl,whoever she was, was just standing on the cliffs. She seemed distant yet peaceful. I

couldn't help but watch her. She had long toned legs, dark smooth honey colored skin, and small almond shape grey

eyes. My eyes stopped at her eyes. The were beautiful yet dull and lifeless. I knew this girl had to have gone

through some things. It was all to easy to see. Those eyes held so much unexpressed pain, anger, and sadness. I

stood in my hidden spot and continued to watch her. _'What's she doing here',_but she answered my question soon

enough when she spread her arms out as if she was about to fly and jumped off the mountain side. My mind went

into overdrive and I quickly jumped in after her before I could even fully register what happened. I was hiding to far

away and had to jump in from my spot behind a tree. I pushed myself to swim to the spot where she landed. The

waves were tough to cut through and the water was freezing cold even though it was late August. I ducked my

head down underwater and looked around for her. The water was pitch black and the salty waves were burning my

eyes but I saw her slowly floating down to the bottom. Her body was lifeless ad her eyes were closed. I feared the

worst. What could possibly cause her to do this. I rushed to get to her but it was as if the waves were doing their

best to push me away from her. It took all I had to grab her and swim her body back to shore. I just laid there next

to her ,exhausted, until I realized she wasn't breathing. I quickly performed CPR. It seemed hopeless. She refused

to breathe or even cough. For some reason this brought tears to my eyes._'Why would you do this to yourself or better  
><em>

_yet who caused you to do this'._I knew what it was like to not feel loved. I could was familiar with the pain in her eyes,

but there was someone there to save me. No one came to save her. I patted her on her back with everything I had.

I'm sure I left some bruises, but hell it paid off. She coughed and sputtered. I tilted her on her side so she could

vomit out all of the salty ocean water. I waited until her breathing slowed down and her heart was at a normal pace.

I desperately wanted to ask her questions, but she passed out in my arms. Her once honey colored skin was now

pale and she was shivering yet she felt so warm. I figured it was a good idea to get her to someplace warm. What

better place than my house. I picked her up and carried her towards my cottage which wasn't far from the beach.

She was surprisingly light, but her shirt was pulled up and it was easy to see she hadn't been eating very well. It

hurt me to see her like this. So broken and fragile. I would fix this. I would fix this beautiful broken girl._'I'll guide you  
><em>

_home beautiful and I'll fix you'._

* * *

><p><strong>Seth's POV<strong>

_'Why...why did you do this Leah'_. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. I went up to Leah's room to try to coax

her into coming down and party with us. I knew she was upset about Emily and Sam's engagement even though

she tried to hide it. Everyone was giving her a really hard time about it. Emily and Sam didn't even have the decency

to invite her and the party was at her own house. Of course they gave what they thought would be a good enough

excuse. _'Look Seth I just don't want to see Leah suffer through this. It's not a big deal. I'm doing this to help her.' _Yeah

right. I knew exactly why Emily didn't invite Leah. Wouldn't want your fiance's sulky ex girlfriend to ruin your party. Of

course I couldn't blame Emily. Leah would have sulked through the whole thing. Maybe it was best to keep her

upstairs. I had already reached her room so I figured I might as well try. I didn't even bother to knock. I looked

around her surprisingly neat room and Leah was no where to be found. Then I saw that her bedroom window was

open and rain coated the windowsill. _'Stupid Leah. What is she trying to do flood the whole house'. _I immediately regret

the words and remember that Leah is my sister. I really need to stop treating her like everyone else. Maybe if she

had someone to be nice to her every other day she wouldn't be such a harpy. _'Man I need to stop hanging around _

_Jake'._ I was about to close the window when I had an uneasy feeling. It was pouring outside due to the fact that a

thunderstorm was coming and yet Leah had left her jacket. As a matter of fact she had left her wallet, her phone,

and she didn't even bother to close her window. This was not natural Leah behavior. It was as if she just got up and

left. I checked her closet to make sure no clothes were missing. Everything was there so she couldn't have tried to

runaway unless she was in wolf form. I decided I should go after her before she does something stupid. I took off

my clothes and jumped out of the window. I figured I would be back in a few minutes so I didn't leave a note. I

mean how far could Leah have gone. She wasn't even in wolf form but I caught her scent. I followed it and ran as

fast as I could. It only took a few minutes but I could tell she had gotten pretty far from home. I finally spotted Leah

and phased back.I sighed heavily and walked towards her. What the hell was she doing here. Then I froze. She

jumped. Leah fucking jumped off the cliff. I rushed to the side and peered over. I waited anxiously for her head to

pop up but it never did. I just stood there...waiting. She never came up. _'Come on Leah. Don't fucking do this to me.'_ I

couldn't stand it anymore and finally jumped in. In my head I knew it was to late. I had waited to long. I couldn't

even find her body. Fatigue took over and I swam to shore. It was now dark. I'm sure mom was wondering where I

was. How was i going to explain to her I was looking for Leah's dead body. _'Wait maybe she already swam to shore.' _

Hope surged through me. Leah was alive. She had to be. Leah would never kill herself. She would never do that to

me and mom. I phased and ran home. She was there. I knew she was, she had to be. I pulled on my shorts and

burst through the front door.

" Seth Clearwater what is going on with you. Where have you been. Do you have any idea what time it is?" My mom shook her head at me. She was wearing her usual disappointed look.

" You missed the rest of the engagement party so and your sister could go run off somewhere. Where is Leah by the way."

"What do you mean. She's not here?"

"Of course not. I figured you to had run off. I swear I don't know what I'm going to do about your sister. Just

running off every time she gets upset over nothing."

I just stood there. Leah wasn't home. She hadn't come back from her reckless cliff dive. Maybe she had never come

up from the water at all.

" Seth... Seth what is wrong with you."

" She jumped." My voice was so low I could hardly hear myself.

" Speak up and answer me."

" She jumped mom. She's gone." I walked over to the couch and sat with my head in my hands.

" Seth what are you talking about. What do you mean she jumped."

Tears were falling from my eyes. I just witnessed my own sister's death and I did nothing to stop it. Hell I helped

drive her to the act of suicide. I whispered about her with the guys. I helped plan the pranks. She would scream and

yell at them yet she always let me off the hook. I took advantage of her and now I was paying for it. _'I guess I'm not _

_as innocent as everyone thought'._

" Seth answer me. What happened to Leah."

I couldn't look my mom in her eyes. I knew this would only worsen my guilt. Her eyes were so similar to Leah's.

" She's dead."

The silence that came after was deafening. I looked up at my mom. Her face was blank and unreadable. She let out

a shaky sigh.

" Seth...what are you talking about."

There was a small sense of anger in her voice.

" I'm sorry mom. She jumped off a cliff. I tried to help. I really did." Ok so maybe I lied a little on that part, but I

couldn't bring myself to tell mom I watched Leah jump.

" She's not dead. What are you talking about. Stop telling suck vicious lies about your sister."

" Mom please I saw her. She jumped and never came back up."

I felt a painful stinging cross my cheek. I looked up at my mom, completely shocked that she had actually slapped

me. Charlie decide to step in.

" Sue please calm down. I'm sure Leah is fine."

" Of course she's fine."

I had never seen my mom so angry. I hated myself for bringing this anger out of her. But I didn't understand why

she didn't believe me.

"Mom please-"

" Just shut up Seth. I'm going to go call Sam to see if he will go looking for her. This isn't the first time she's run off"

Mom shot me another glare before going into the kitchen to get the phone. I turned to Charlie.

" You've got to believe me. We have to look for her body. She's deserves to be buried. Please talk to her Charlie."

I always liked Charlie, but he was nothing like my father. My father would have immediately jumped up and called a

whole search team to go looking for his little girl. Charlie just stood there looking uncomfortable and constipated. My

dad would have called my mom on her shit a long time ago. I couldn't help but hate Charlie at the moment.

" Seth I'm sure Leah is fine. You heard your mom. She runs off all the time. I'm sure she'll be back soon."

He went into the kitchen probably going to calm my mother down and get away from his crazy step son. I

felt so miserable and helpless. I had to do something. I walked back up to Leah's room and sat on her bed. I looked

out the still open window and thought about my sister. I had witnessed her greatest downfall and did nothing to

stop it. I peered out the window for god knows how long. Just thinking about how much she loved the rain. I knew

the truth. I knew she was gone. I could only hope it was peaceful and that she was finally happy. I regretted so

much. Everything I and everyone else had done had rove her to this. I had always thought Leah was indestructible,

but now I finally realize that she was broken. _'I'm sorry I couldn't fix you Leah'._


	3. Where am I?

**So here is chapter 3. Thanks to those who added me to their favorite/story alert list. That is much appreciated. **

**I ****also am aware that I told some of you that I would have posted yesterday but I was interrupted by an episode **

**of ****glee. So sorry about that. I hope you enjoy this chapter cause I worked hard on it and I could use some **

**constructive criticism. Thanks again and here we go.**

* * *

><p><strong>Leah POV<strong>

The light...the light was so bright. My head began to ache from the sheer intensity of it. The burning in my body had

returned and now I had a major migraine. _'Is this what it feels like to die'_. If so I really am regretting my decision.

_'So much for trying to get rid of the pain'_. I tried opening my eyes, but was once again blinded by the light. Maybe

this light was the one people always exaggerated about in movies. I tried to move, but every part of my body felt

paralyzed. Surprisingly enough I wasn't cold. I felt warm, a little too warm actually. I tried moving again and I

realized that I was underneath some sort of smooth soft material. Even though my brain was a tad bit frazzled I

knew I was underneath a blanket. I immediately began to panic. Did someone from the pack see me jump? God I

could practically hear my mother now. The only thing worse than that was having to hear what my pack mates

thought about my attempted suicide. Paul will never let me live this down. I could already hear their voices in

my... but they didn't sound familiar. The voice seemed so far away yet I was able to make out the words.

" Hey...hey are you ok."

Who was that. Some random stranger. Fantastic that's just what I needed. Some weird guy just picked me up out

of the ocean. Maybe hoping I would repay him for saving me. _Disgusting._ I tried opening my eyes. It was a little

easier but still had to squint. I could make out a face standing over me although it was blurry.

"Where am I." My own voice surprised me. It was raspy and dead. Probably from all the sea water I gulped down

in the ocean.

"Here let me help you up." I felt warm strong arms wrap around my midsection and pull me up against something

hard. I didn't try to resist. The pain I was feeling everywhere kept me still.

"Umm... do you have a name?"

I hesitated. I could hardly see this person and I highly doubted I knew him. Him...yes he was obviously a man.

I took in as much air as I could muster and whispered out "Leah".

This stranger was silent for a while.

"Ok that's a good start. Do you want some aspirin? I heard you whispering about a headache."

I tried to respond but felt a rising in my throat. My heart began to pick up and I was suddenly at a loss of

breath. "Bathroom" was the word I managed to get out. I felt those arms pick me up bridal style and carry me of

somewhere.

" Ok Leah I'm going to need you help here. You need to move."

I understood what he was saying. The need to vomit got worse. I forced my eyes open. Thank God the lights were

off in his bathroom. I threw myself at the toilet and released what little content I had in my stomach. Eventually

I began to dry heave. My stomach was in knots and tangles. The pain just wouldn't end. I heard the toilet being

flushed which caused my head to pound even more. I let out a strangled cry of pain and placed my hands over

my ears. I felt those arms wrap around me again. There was so much comfort in them. The pain was to great

for me to reject these arms that seemed so persistent on making me feel better. I knew now that I was far

from home. I would never get this comfort at home. I relished in the feeling of these arms. I buried my face

in the strong chest of this stranger. I could tell he was well built much like my pack brothers, but he was missing

alot of the assets of a shape shifter. Usually I wouldn't react this way around a human,but he was different. His

scent alone was intoxicating. I inhaled this scent. It was woodsy yet sweet like lavender. I refused to open my eyes.

I couldn't see the face of my savior. I couldn't stand it if he wore the cocky smirk that always seemed to be

plastered on the face of my 'brothers'. The smirk that would immediately tell me he felt that I owed him for

saving me. I didn't even want to be saved and once I got out of this phase I was going to give this guy hell

for doing this to me.

"Umm, Leah right,...well are you hungry or do you want to shower?"

Now that he mentioned it I could use a hot meal and a showered sounded like heaven which is where I wanted to

be right now. But then again I was never that lucky. I just shook my head. I didn't want to owe this man any more

than I already did.

" I promise my cooking isn't poisonous and I have some clothes here that would fit you perfectly. And if you don't

mind me saying you really look like you could use all the help you could get."

I couldn't help it. I had to see his face. I had to deny him eye to eye. Maybe he would be my ticket out of wherever

I was. I wasn't to keen about trusting people thanks to some horrific events in my life but this guy had to be my way

out. That's all I wanted was a way out. I looked up from his chest and stared him straight in the eye and froze.

His eyes were a gorgeous electric blue. They seemed to glow against his lightly tanned skin. This man had a

strong square jaw, a straight narrow nose, high cheekbones, and light pink slightly pouted lips. There was no

argument. This man was gorgeous. He was just nothing short of beautiful. He obviously was not native american

but his tanned skin seemed natural. His smooth skin seemed to glow along with his gorgeous eyes. I had to be

far from home. Men like this don't grow up in La Push or even Forks. He smiled at me and I realized I must have

been staring at him. I couldn't help but think that that must happen to him alot. He continued to smile that

beautiful straight white smile at me. I almost had the urge to smile back. Reality set in and I immediately

squashed that idea. I can't imagine how horrid I looked at the moment. I quickly looked away from him as I

began to feel intimidated by this gorgeous man. I had never reacted this way to any man. That was a bit of a

lie. There was one man who had once glowed like the sun. One man who brought a smile to my face every time

he looked my way. Those feelings were long gone, at least for him anyway.

"Are you okay?"

His voice was velvety yet rough in a way. He sounded so full of concern. I wasn't used to this. Why me. What was so

great about me. My defenses went up and crazy thoughts of him raping and killing me invaded my head. I jumped

out of his arms and rushed to the other side of the bathroom. _'I have to get out of here. Scream...scream you_

_idiot'_. That's exactly what I did . It came out scratchy almost like a whisper. The salt in my mouth scratched at

my throat. My lack of water caused my mouth to dry out and burn.

" Hey hey calm down. I'm not going to hurt you I promise."

_'Promises are meant to be broken'_. I continued to scream or whine or whatever the hell I was doing.

"Please Leah. I'm just trying to help you. Please...look at me."

He took my face in his hands and forced me to look at him. Our faces were so close I could feel his lips brush against

mine sending a jolt of electricity throughout my body. We were face to face and once again my body was still and I

lost myself in those electric blue eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>So feel free to tell me what you think. I'm open to advice and opinions. Anything that will give you all a better <strong>

**reading experience. I know this may not have been what you were expecting, but I know where I wanna go **

**with this. I promise the mystery man will be revealed and there will be an update on the Clearwater family**

**back in La Push.**

** With Love,**

** Cold Harts**


	4. Questions?

**Ok I'll admit I was a little stumped on this chapter but I think I've got my groove back. I know that's not**

**something a cool person says but I've never been cool a day in my life. ****So here we go and **

**once again thanks for your great comments and criticism. **

* * *

><p><strong>Seth POV<strong>

_'Why won't anyone believe me?' _Leah had been presumed dead, well at least by me, for three days now. Yet

no one went looking for her. No one worried about her. Life went on as usual. As if my sister never existed.

The guys, my so called "brothers", even threw a Leah's gone party. Everyone joked, played around, and

made constant jokes about Leah. They tried to get me involved but I had had enough. I had never thrown

a tantrum a day in my life but that day I made history. I screamed and shouted until I was hoarse. I threw

the chocolate cake Emily made for the special occasion into Paul's face since he was the ring leader of the

whole thing. I stormed out of Sam and Emily's house before anyone could stop me. How could they do this?

Why didn't they believe me? Leah was dead and they're making a fucking joke of it. I fooled myself into thinking

that those guys were great. I should have listened to Leah. They're nothing but pricks. I had to calm myself down

before I phased in the middle of the road. I made it to the cliffs hoping I could clear my head. It didn't work.

These cliffs only brought back that painful day. I keep seeing Leah jumping off those cliffs every time I close

my eyes. I had nightmares about that awful day. I tried to fight the tears but they came anyways. I couldn't

help but wonder where she was. Was she alive or...dead? Was she finally at peace? Did she finally find whatever

it was she was looking for? So many questions were swirling around in my head and I didn't have a single

answer for any of them. Not only were the thoughts in my head swirling but so were the contents in my

stomach. I bent over and threw up my lunch. I felt a warm hand rub my back and I imagined Leah sitting

there beside me,giving me comfort like I knew she would. But this hand was too big to belong to her. I

looked over and saw Sam sitting beside me with his usual stony expression but the concern was evident

in his eyes.

"What do you want ?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok. You threw quite a tantrum back there. I would have gotten here sooner

but I had to calm Paul down so he wouldn't kill you." He chuckled and I could tell he was trying to lighten

the mood but Sam was never good at anything like that.

"I'm fine. Go back to your party. You should be celebrating the most. Your bitchy ex girlfriend is finally gone."

" Seth you know I never thought of Leah that way. I do still love her you know."

"Is that what you would tell her. That you still love her. I'm sure that really meant something to her after you

went running back to my cousin."

Sam sighed heavily and sat silent for a while. I took this time to dwell on the questions in my head again. I was

grateful Sam broke the silence because the swirling in my stomach started again.

"Seth... me and you both know that Leah is a strong person. It takes alot for her to break. I'm sure that

the wedding is a little to much for her and she just needed some time to clear her head. She'll be back.

I know she will"

I thought this over in my head and quickly disagreed with his words. The image of her jump was just too real.

" You know I thought she was indestructible, but I realize now that she wasn't as strong as she wanted us to

believe. We did it Sam. I didn't think it could be done, but we really did it."

"Did what Seth?"

I turned to him. He had to know I was telling the truth.

" We broke her."

He stayed silent obviously contemplating what I said. What he said next really sent me off the deep end.

"I don't think I believe you"

"How could you not believe me? I saw her with my own eyes. She jumped right off the edge of a cliff some

place far from La Push and never came back up. She's dead Sam. Dead."

"Please don't say that Seth."

"Why not. Shouldn't you be happy. Now you and Emily can live happily ever after without having to feel guilt."

" I'll always feel guilty for what I did to Leah. I would never wish death on her. Me or Emily. You know that.

You have to calm down Seth. Leah will come back when she's ready."

Tears were running down my face but I didn't back down. I couldn't. I had to make him believe me.

" Phase."

"What?"

"I said phase!"

We stripped and phased. There was no one else in wolf form and I couldn't help but wonder where everyone was.

" They're all at your moms."

"Of course. Who can resist a free meal."

"Seth what is this about."

" Since you won't believe me when I tell you I figured you'd believe me if showed you."

Before he could protest I thought of that rainy day. I thought of Leah looking out at the water. I thought of

the peaceful look on her face. I thought of her jumping. I thought of the panic I felt when she didn't resurface.

I thought of my frantic search for her and I thought of the feeling of defeat and self hatred I felt when I couldn't

find her. Sam stayed silent for awhile but I could feel his emotions. They were similar to mine. Regret, guilt, self

hatred, anger, depression. All the same feelings that were running around in my head. There was something I

felt that he didn't and that was relief. Finally someone understood. I wasn't alone. Someone was asking

the same questions that had no answers.

" We need to inform the others."

"Yes... yes thank you finally. I've been trying to tell you. It was too real... I saw it all... she didn't come up...

I was so scare."

" Seth calm down. We haven't found her yet. Come on we need to tell the others."

He started off towards my house but I stayed behind. There was a new question stirring inside my head.

" Seth what is it ?"

" What if we don't find her?"

" Don't say that. We will. Now come on."

I had never heard Sam sound so desperate. As if he needed to convince himself instead of me. I quickly followed

him to my house. He had gotten there before I did. I could tell everyone had heard the new piece of information

by the silence in the house. It looked like they had moved the party to my house and it had abruptly ended.

I looked around. Some of the faces I saw actually looked sad. Paul looked up at me.

" Did she really...you know?"

"Yeah. She jumped like I said. And now she's probably a million miles away from here because no one decided to

believe me. Because we all know how Leah is right. But it's too bad she left such wonderful friends like you guys."

The room was once again silent. I could hear my mother's soft sobbing and I almost felt bad about my comment

I knew my mother loved Leah. It was stupid of me to think she wouldn't care. The air got thicker and I found it hard

to breathe. So I left. I went upstairs but I passed my room. I had been sleeping in Leah's. It was all I had left of

her now. Her scent, her presence was everywhere. Everything in her room reminded me of simpler times. Her

teddy bears, her pictures, her drawings. The guitar dad had given it to her when she turned thirteen. She would

write songs and perform for us. Back when everything was simple. Why did that girl have to go away? Why did

the world deal her a bad hand? Why did fate her over? Why did this happen to my sister? Why did she have to

go? Why didn't I save her when I could? My head was hurting with all the questions I had in my head and my

heart was hurting from every question that went unanswered.

* * *

><p><strong>Please review. It's late, I'm tired, and I need all my energy to try to post tomorrow or the day after. I did a full <strong>

**chapter on Leah. So this time I did a full chapter on Seth. Awesome or not? Go ahead and tell me if you hate**

**it. I don't mind. I might cry but you won't know that. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	5. Nightmares

**Here I am once again, ready to spread my Christmas joy with you (not really). But a little update for the future.**

**Leah and mystery man will celebrate Christmas together. It is now late August so I've got some time to build up**

**their relationship a bit. Yes, mystery man will be revealed in this chapter. I tried to make him out as a pretty **

**basic guy, but he's not to vague either. We will be dwelling into his past and Leah will be helping him face his **

**demons. I hope this chapter pleases you as much as the last one. Please Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Leah POV<strong>

Did you know that if you stare at a white ceiling long enough you can count all the cracks in it. No matter how

smooth it may appear, you can always find a crack in it. That's only if you're willing to stare at it long enough. Or if

you're being held captive by a strange man who locks you in his room and refuses to let you out. Or if you're like me

and are not being held captive but you refuse to leave this strange man's room because you freaked out when you

woke up to find him holding you. Needless to say I was quite disappointed when I woke up to find that I wasn't

dead like I planned. I instead had been rescued by some guy. If he thinks he's getting a thank you he's very

mistaken. I just couldn't win. Now I was sitting here trying to block out memories of everything back in La Push.

Was my mother okay? Did they think I was really dead? Would they come looking for me? Probably not.

So no point in worrying about it. Back to this guy,whoever he was, he was hot to say the least but a total

stranger. He seemed nice. At least that's what I thought in the two minutes I'd gotten to know him before

I started freaking out. I must have passed out again while we were in the bathroom because I found myself

in his bed once again and that's where I stayed. For three days. It was Sunday, August 27, 3:00 in the afternoon

and I was still in this man's bed. Every woman's dream right...not always. I refused to leave and I refused to let him

come in. Although he is nice enough to try to coax me into coming out to eat, shower, etc. One thing I will say is

that he can cook. At least that was what I gathered from the smells that came upstairs. For the first time in a long

time my stomach grumbled with hunger. Truth be told I hadn't had much of an appetite but the smells

that came from the kitchen made my stomach stir awake. I wasn't even sure if it was 'beefy guy' who was

cooking. I rolled over and stared at the picture on the small drawer next to the bed. It was a picture of

'beefy guy' holding a woman who looked about my age. She had jet black wavy long hair, a small athletic

build, and wide blue eyes similar to 'beefy guy'. He had his arms wrapped around her in a loving embrace

and they both had wide happy smiles on their faces. 'Beefy guy' was wearing a ring, actually two, but this

woman was not. I assumed she was his girlfriend or maybe now she was his wife. Was she making the meals?

Did she even know I was here? Of course she did. She had to. If she was even around. I've only heard one

set of footprints and there was never a feminine voice around. Maybe she just didn't live here. I had officially

decided then that I had overstayed my welcome. There was no way in this world I was going to stick around

and watch another love dovey couple. Especially after I had just run away from one. I sat up against the

headboard and began to think of an escape plan. I could just leave but where was I going to go. I'm sure

'beefy guy' could tell me where I was and I could just run home. On the downside I really didn't want to go

home. I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest. _'What am I going to do?'_ A knock at the door shook me

out of my thoughts.

" Are you up?" I stayed silent.

" If you are, and I'm sure that you are, I made lunch."

I continued to stay silent.

"Look Leah you don't need to be afraid of me. If it bothers you that much I could just leave it outside the door."

I kept playing the silent treatment until I heard 'beefy guy' go back downstairs. I could smell the food outside

the door and it brought me back to La Push. When Seth,mom, dad, and I would sit outside on the porch in

the summer and we'd eat ice cream and drink ice tea. Back when everything was simple. I decided then that

I was going home. Where else could I go. I would just have to work harder on getting along with everyone.

Maybe I would start community college. I would stay as far away from Sam and Emily as possible and start

a new life. I got out of bed and fell to the floor. My legs were like jello from laying in bed for so long. It was like

a million pins and pricks were being shoved into my legs as I tried to move them. Standing up was hard but

walking was much worse. By the time I got to the door I was overworked and out of breathe. My body was in

no condition to even walk. Maybe eating a little wouldn't kill me. No I had to go home now. I opened the door

and looked down at what appeared to be a bowl of stew. I grabbed it and began to go downstairs, trying to

take it as easy as possible. I was going to need all the strength I could muster. I looked around as I got to

the last step. The living room was very basic. It had a couch, a chair, a coffee table, a t.v., a fireplace, and

a small desk with a silver laptop sitting on it. No knick knacks or pictures of family. There was a small opening

that lead to the kitchen. I heard some rummaging and figured that's where 'beefy guy' was. I should at least

thank him. I walked slowly making sure not to make too much noise. I stepped into the kitchen and looked around.

It was just as basic as the living room. Their was nothing but cabinets, a refrigerator, a stove, an island, and a table

where 'beefy guy' was sitting with his back to me eating the stew he had made. I set the stew on the island and

cleared my throat and winced from the burning sensation. All the salt I had swallowed had been sitting in my throat

for three days and I hadn't had any water.

"Hi"

I looked up. He was smiling at me.

"I'm glad you're up. I wanted to check you out."

" Excuse me !" I quickly took two steps back.

" Let me explain. I'm a doctor. I work at a small family owned clinic not to far from here. I wanted to examine you to

make sure you aren't seriously hurt. You're able to walk so that's a pretty good sign." He gave small chuckle but I

could tell that he was nervous.

"Oh...um thanks but that's not going to be necessary."

"But Leah-"

"I said I'm fine." I didn't mean to be so harsh but I desperately wanted to leave. The last thing I wanted was this

guy getting too close to me.

"Look I just really want to go home. You mind telling me where I am."

His face fell a little but I wasn't sure why.

" You're in Sequim. That's not too far from La Push. I could drive you there."

"How'd you know I was from La Push"

" Well you look like you're from La Push. Am I wrong ?"

I didn't answer. That only confirmed his idea that I was from La Push.

"So do you want that ride or not?"

"Not. I'll find my own way."

I quickly turned and headed for the door before he could try to change my mind. Once I grabbed the door handle I

felt something tug my arm. I turned to see 'beefy guy' standing there with a blue jacket in his hand. He placed it

in my hand.

" Sorry I don't have an umbrella."

I opened the door and looked outside. It was absolutely pouring. The sky was dark grey and it appeared that a

storm was coming. _'Well there's no turning back now'_. I felt another tug of my arm. I turned around and was face

to face with 'beefy guy's' chest. I looked up at his sad eyes and felt the need to comfort him but quickly talked

myself out of it.

"What do you want ?"

" Just so you know my name is Caden and...it was nice meeting you." He gave a small smile and let go of my arm.

I felt kinda bad for snapping at him but shrugged it off seeing as I would never see him again. I put on the jacket

and rushed outside. The wind was strong and the rain came down hard and fast. It felt like ice on my thin body.

I ran as far from Caden's house as I could without getting too exhausted. I stopped far enough away to phase.

The last thing I wanted to do right now was take off my clothes. The rain was too cold and my body was too

frail. The wind picked up and whipped my hair all over my face. The sky got darker, making it impossible for me

to see. My clothes were drenched and I was shivering all over. For some reason I felt a strange feeling of

deja vu. Then I remembered the horrible nightmare.

**Flashback**

_" Sam please tell me what I did wrong."_

_" Leah please don't make this harder than it needs to be."_

_" What are you talking about ? How can you possibly say this is hard for you."_

_" I didn't want you to get hurt."_

_" Really you think dumping me for my cousin wouldn't hurt me. Are you crazy. What the hell is going on Sam. I deserve_

_to know."_

_" I wish I could explain but I can't I...I just love Emily now okay. Please Leah I don't know what else to say other than _

_I'm sorry."_

_He turned and began to walk away from me. He just left with no sign of regret or sadness in his eyes. It began to rain, but_

_for once the rain brought me no comfort. It felt icy cold and felt like rocks on my shoulders. I looked back at Sam's _

_retreating form. He never looked back once. He was going home to Emily and I was going home alone. _

_"Please come back Sammy...please."_

__I was shaken out of my painful memory by the howling wind. It was practically beating me in my face and the rain

was like weights on my shoulders. It dragged me down and I soon found myself on the forest floor in a fetal

position. Those memories, those nightmares were all back in La Push and the closer I got the more they came

back. They haunted me for so long, creating scar after scar. I couldn't take it. The scars became too much.

The rain became a dangerous place and I was a victim that had been swept in. I was completely oblivious on

what to do. I couldn't get out and I probably never would. I wrapped my arms around my legs and began to cry.

_'Please come back Sammy...please.'_

* * *

><p>I don't think this was my best chapter,it was definitely my longest, but I feel I could have done a little better. What<p>

do you think. Let me know with your awesome comments. Merry Christmas!

Another note is that I will not be posting again until after New Years. Sorry but I promise I'll have something better

for you once I get back from Florida. Peace, Love and special thanks to heart-vampiers88, Jada91, TheRYU, and

PolkadottedAngels. And special special thanks to vampiregurl for you super long review that I had to stop reading

because it was so freaking long but I totally get what you were saying. Thanks you guys.


	6. Starting Point

**Hey guys. So sorry for the delay. This story is not planned. I write from inspiration in my day to day life and **

**how I'm feeling on certain days. Pretty much whatever is on the top of my head I put it into Leah's life. So far **

**the swivels and whirls in my brain haven't been moving at top speed, but I'm writing this chapter to kinda get **

**back on ****track. So here we go :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Caden POV<strong>

"Here" I handed Leah a cup of coffee in hopes it would help put her at ease. She took it reluctantly, as if she was

afraid I had poisoned it. I slowly sipped my own coffee and secretly watched her. She sipped her coffee tentatively.

She seemed distant and her body slowly started to relax. She obviously had been through alot. I can't imagine

someone who hasn't jumping off a cliff. A slowly examined her body. She was about 95 pounds. Maybe a little

over 110 although her face showed little signs of weight loss and her eyes had deep purple circles around

them. Her hands shook slightly as she brought the cup to her lips. When I examined her her insides were fine.

Hitting the water so hard just caused her to have a few bruises. I also cleaned up some scratches she'd gotten

from falling in the woods. Other than that Leah was perfectly fine. I was surprised at that but thankful. I don't

know what it was about this girl that made me so...protective. Was that the right word for it? I definitely felt

something. Something that had made me feel alive again, but what was it about her. This puzzled me as I

watched her out of the corner of my eye. She had obviously gone through some things. She seemed tense

and cut off from the rest of the world. Maybe it was just that. The fact that she was battling some demons...

just like me. Something about this girl with her shoulder length hair, her dark honey colored skin, and grey eyes

made me run into the woods during a thunderstorm to find her. Just to make sure she was ok. I had never felt

this way about anyone. It wasn't love..no not quite yet, but I knew Leah Clearwater would surely make an

impact on my life. Although her eyes showed no emotion there was fire behind them. A type of fire that made

her eyes seem to glow. Something in those eyes told me she had once taken the world by storm, but I wondered

what could possibly happen to change that. How did she get washed up by her own storm? I had to know.

My insides were churning and my head was spinning. I had so many questions, but in truth Leah's life was none of

my business. I just had to know everything about her. Something about her stirred a fire inside me and made me

never want to let her go. It had been so long since I had shown any interest in something and I suddenly

wish I had someone to talk about it with. Although the town was small I didn't have many friends. None that

I really trusted anyways. I felt a pang of sadness in my heart as my mind drifted to Sophie. The one person I

knew would have a suitable bit of advice for my situation. I had been alone for more than two years since

Sophie left and I missed her more at this very moment than I had at any other. I had learned to get by without

her but now I needed her more than anything. I started to drift away in my thoughts until I was thrown out

of them by a soft voice.

" Why are you staring at me"

I hadn't realized I was still staring at her. Instead of trying to play off my embarrassment, I ignored her question

and started a conversation of my own.

" We need to talk "

Leah immediately tensed up. I didn't say anything to try to calm her. Trust was something you earned and babying

her wasn't going to get me anywhere. Something told me she didn't like to beat around the bush. So I just

simply started at the beginning. The starting point was going to be hard for the both of us, but the journey

would damn near destroy us from the inside.


	7. Lost

**Thanks so much for the one's who reviewed and added me to their favorites. I love you for loving me.**

**I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I would love some more reviews. If I'm asking too much**

**just click on the little review button and tell me :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Sam POV<strong>

She was gone. Everything seemed quiet without her. My thoughts, the rez, the world. Life didn't seem so hectic

anymore. We had been searching for what seemed like months. Three days turned into eight and we still had yet

to find a single trace of her. We searched everywhere, including the cliffs where she jumped. I couldn't understand

why she ran all the way to Sequim. Did she want to get away from us all that badly? Why would she want to

leave me... I mean us? I'm guessing it had something to do with the way we treated her. I laughed at myself.

Although in wolf form it sounded like a lazy whine. It sounded sad and empty. I sighed softly and couldn't

help but think of Leah. I went to the cliffs the pack occasionally likes to jump off of. We had some good

memories here, but I didn't feel that familiar happiness. I could only replay the image of Leah's jump in my

mind. I never wanted this. I wanted Leah to be happy. I wanted her to find someone else and learn to love

again. I never wanted to hurt her. I tried to make her happy in different ways, but I knew what she wanted.

She wanted my love and my guilt only grew every time I rejected her. I turned her into the bitter wolf she was

and then I turned her into empty shell she is now. Guilt invaded my body as I looked out into the ocean. She

always loved the ocean. It was her second home; her sanctuary. I hated the ocean. It's beauty was a disguise

used to trick you and once it had you it pulled you away forever. It pulled my Leah away. It offered her safety

and peace then pulled her away from home. A part of me knew she was long gone but the other side,my human

side that wasn't corrupted by the imprint, knew she was out there somewhere and I knew I would never stop

looking for her.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay super short I know,but I wanted another side added to the story. Who better than Sam.I just didn't want <strong>

**him to completely dominate the story just yet. He isn't going ****to get alot of POV's until later. Right now just isn't **

**his time. Sorry. Shoot me a review and tell me how****everything is going.**


	8. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

**So freakin sorry you guys. College life just took over. Well I'm finally on break and I'm gonna do my best to **

**catch ****up with my story. So sorry for keeping you guys enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Leah POV<strong>

"Please I don't feel like talking." I sighed and rubbed my temples. Caden had been asking me the same

questions over and over again for about an hour. Where was I from, what was I running from, and what had

me jumping off a cliff? The questions were giving me a headache and the need to phase was becoming more and

more intense. I was seriously debating on just going back to La Push and dealing with my overbearing

mother and controlling alpha.

" I just think it would be rational for me to know if you are going to be staying-" I quickly interrupted Caden.

" No. I'm not staying...I need to go home." I put my coffee cup on the table and stood. " Wait Leah it's still

raining. You don't have to go." "No, I really need to go. I'm sure my family is worried about me." I felt a pang

in my heart at the thought of my family throwing a party to celebrate my disappearance.

"Leah it's raining...please let me drive you or better yet just stay here for the night."

" No I have to go...my family-".

"I'm sure they'll be happy to know that you're safe and in good hands." Caden pulled a silver cell phone out

of his pocket. "Here you can call them if you like. I'll just leave." Caden turned and walked up the stairs.

I stared down at the cell phone like it was some strange foreign object that was bound to lead to my demise.

My palms began to sweat and I began to take shallow breathes. Did I really want my family to know where

I was? My head was swimming and the need to vomit overtook my senses. My heart was racing at the

thought of having to face my family; my pack. Panic flooded my body and my hands began to shake.

I placed the phone on the coffee table and slowly backed away from it as if it was a ticking time bomb.

I heard light footsteps on the stairs and turned and bolted for the door. I yanked open the door and

was quickly halted by the thunderstorm. The rain flew at me and pierced my skin like a million dull knives.

The darkness quickly overrode my senses and the thunder deafened my ears. The wind whipped my hair

around my face. The rain; where was its comfort; its safety. Why was it turning against me. Memories

began to flood my mind. Sam dumping me, Emily asking me to be her bridesmaid, my mother gushing

over Emily's wedding dress. The pain, anger, and frustration began to flood my heart. The old scars

ripped open and began to furiously bleed. My world collapsed as two cold hands wrapped themselves

around me and dragged me into darkness. The rain; once my savior was now the epitome of my pain.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm so incredibly sorry this is short. I'm on break from school and have an essay to write for a <strong>

**chemistry class I'm failing so I have to get to work on that. But I wrote this because I felt so sorry**

**for leaving you hanging. I still love your reviews and appreciate them. Also anyone seen Project X. **

**Freakin hilarious right. Loved it. REVIEW.**


	9. Creeping Closer

**Jeez how long has it been..3 months. So sorry. Life just got in the way and I've recently gotten some pretty bad**

**news about a good friend of mine, so that's kept me pretty busy. Plus exams are coming and going so extra**

**study time is CRUCIAL. Thanks you guys for hanging in there.**

* * *

><p><strong>Some of you may or may not know this but a great author,oh2byoung, has passed away after many <strong>

**months of fighting after a motorcycle accident. Matt was a wonderful writer and person. If you haven't**

**checked out any of his stories, the most recent and my personal favorite, Tatts and Piercings is up but **

**on hold due to his death. It is a Jake and Seth and it's really good. I want to dedicate this chapter to**

**him. I can only hope that I become as great of a writer as he was and please my beautiful readers **

**pray for Matt and his family. They truly deserve it while going through such a hard time.**

** MATTHEW KINGI-LETT**

** BORN MAY 2 1988 -DIED MAY 2 2012**

**Leah POV**

" Leah... Leah wake up".

_'God please make the noise go away.'_ Who was I kidding, God's never listened to me before, why start now.

" Leah come on. Please wake up."

I slowly opened my eyes to satisfy that pleading voice. I opened my eyes to see two electric blue ones staring

back at me. I jumped up only to have my head collide with Caden's. I groaned in pain and rubbed my temples.

Caden grabbed for me. "Let me see". I flinched away from him. It wasn't on purpose. Flinching was a natural

reaction to me. I no longer had to practice running away from someone, it was instinct now.

" Leah please"

He reached out to me more slowly now. I took deep breathes to try to stop the instant reaction, but shuddered

slightly when Caden placed his hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him and whispered out "sorry".

He chuckled and tilted my face towards the left. With his right hand he massaged my bruised temple.

" You seem fine. Just a little bruise. You're a pretty tough girl, but you seem to have a habit of getting yourself

into fucked up situations." He chuckled to himself again.

" It comes naturally" I said humorlessly.

Caden looked back at me, his smile disappearing.

" I didn't mean to offend you Leah."

I held up my hand to silence him.

" It's fine"

The silence that came after was heavy. I took the time to take in my surroundings. I was in an all white room.

Literally everything was all white. The dressers, the bed sheets, the curtains. This room had a sense of purity

to it and I felt as if I was a giant dirty stain ruining its simple beauty. I looked over at the bed side table and

saw a picture of a girl. The same girl in the picture in Caden's room. However, this picture had color. The girl

was tan like Caden. She was in fact pale with soft hazel eyes. She was about 5'4. I grimaced as I thought

of how I could easily tower over her with my near 6 ft build. I sighed inwardly as I noticed her heart shaped

face, her plump pink lips, and her long, thick jet black hair. I absentmindedly reached for my pixie short hair

and pulled as if to make it longer. I felt jealousy bubble inside of me and my heart blackened some more.

But I couldn't look away, she was just that beautiful. I was shaken out of my fixation by Caden's hand.

He quickly turned the photo face down onto the table. His expression was stony. _' Did she break his heart__  
><em>

_like Sam broke mine' _I shuddered again as my mind went to Sam. Caden looked at me with concern in his

eyes.

"Are you cold ? Do you want me to get you another blanket?"

" Is she your girlfriend ?"

The expression he gave me was not one I was expecting. He seemed...amused.

" Ex...?" I asked again.

He shook his head not in a way of answering my question, but as if he was responding to a child's silly nature.

" I'll go get you more blankets." As he stood a loud clap of thunder shook the room. I jumped out of my

skin and pulled him back onto the bed.

"Stay...please."

He reached out as if to hug me and I instinctively flinched away from him.

" It's just thunder Leah, nothing to be afraid of."

" I know what it is." I snapped. I sighed. I didn't mean to snap at him. The frustration and pain I was feeling

was becoming overwhelming. I cursed myself for showing my vulnerability to a complete stranger.

Caden sighed.

" I'll be back Leah" He patted my knee and left the room. I took the time to recollect my thoughts. I jumped

as I heard a knock on the door. I looked up to see Caden standing in the doorway with what appeared to

be a bundle of clothes. He came and sat down next to me.

" I think these may fit. Although they might be a little snug. I figured you'd want to shower after laying in

bed for so long"

It took a while for me to gather what he was saying.

" Wait how long have I been asleep."

" Leah, you've been out for almost a week."

_' I had been out of it for nearly seven days. Oh fuck how could I let this happen.'_

" Leah...Leah. You're not going to pass out again are you ?"

"Wha...what happened ?"

" I don't know. I came downstairs and you were just frozen in the doorway. I pulled you in and you just passed

out. You would wake up, then go back to sleep. I just waited 'till you were ready to wake up."

_' Has anyone been searching for me. No of course not. I'm sure Jake convinced Seth that I was fine and I'm_

_sure mom and Sam were too busy fawning over Emily to notice my absence.'_

I took the clothes from Caden and issued a small 'thank you' to him.

" Leah.."

" Yeah"

" Down the hall, to the right."

I trudged down the hall to the bathroom. The same bathroom I happened to vomit in when I first arrived here.

I locked the door and quickly stripped out of my dirty clothes. I grimaced at the smell of the raw ocean and

sweat that came off me and quickly jumped under the hot water. I moaned as the knots in my back unraveled.

I was in the shower for hours scrubbing roughly at my arms, legs and hair until the water ran cold. I stepped

out and stared at my new wardrobe. I had a pair of light denim shorts and a navy t-shirt, along with white

panties and bra. The underwear looked clean and unused. I decided not to take my chances and just put on

the bra. I frowned as I realized I didn't quite fill it out. The shorts were a little snug, but everything fit. I felt

so uncomfortable knowing I was wearing another female's clothes. God knows who this girl is. I walked out

out of the bathroom, into the bedroom to find Caden no longer there. There was a glass of water and a

sandwich sitting on the bed side table. I quickly gulped it down cursing my wolf appetite for making me

eat like such a pig. I inhaled the water and looked out the window. The sky had darkened and the rain had

stopped. The moon showed brightly through the window, illuminating the room in a beautiful glow. It

reminded me of a story my father told me of how the great chiefs found the moon. The moon created

light, but it was dim and left the world cold. So they created the sun to warm the earth. I climbed into the

bed and tucked myself in tight just like my daddy used to do and I stared up at the moon.

" Goodnight daddy" I whispered as sleep began to overtake me. In the distance I swear it, I heard

someone say ' goodnight Leah', but I was already too far into dreamland to think about it.

* * *

><p><strong>Back in La Push...<strong>

_" Keep going. We're an hour away from the Canadian border."_ Sam shouted in his head.

_' Come on Sam we've been going at this all day. Everybody's hungry and tired and it's about to rain again. Let's_

_just go home and start again tomorrow.' _exclaimed Jacob, desperately trying to reason with Sam.

Everyone quickly shouted their agreements. Seth sat against a tree, silently hoping Sam wouldn't agree.

Leah had been missing for a full week now and they had no sign of her. Sam sighed as he listened to the

thoughts around him.

_' Alright guys. Come on.' _The five wolves cheered happily and thought of what Emily had made for dinner.

Sam looked over at Seth still sitting up against his tree with baseball sized tears rolling down his face. Sam

nudged him to come on and he slowly stood and sprinted to catch up with the others. Sam looked up into

the cloudy dark sky. The moon was bright and full. His thoughts left Emily for a second, the longest second

he ever took his mind off of her, and it went to Leah. He quickly wondered if she was looking up into the

sky tonight and was she thinking about him, like he was thinking about her.

* * *

><p><strong>Well there it is you guys. I seriously spent hours on this. Writers block is a bitch. Again please send your<strong>

**prayers out to Matt and his family. May he rest in peace. Thank you for reading . Goodnight.**


	10. Author's Note

**Sorry not a new chapter, but we have a big problem. Fanfiction is being censored. Most likely stories rated M **

**will be removed. Any thing with sexual content, violence, or inspired by a song. We cannot let this happen.**

**There's so much talent and it will be such a shame if it is removed. Please go to Change(dot) org and search**

**Fanfiction and sign the petition. We need 20,000 signatures. So please guys take out five minutes of your  
><strong>

**day to support this, especially if you want this story to continue. As for now it will be discontinued until **

**further notice.**

**Cold Harts**


	11. Reflection

**Sooo its only been like almost a year. Is it too late for a sorry? Probably but things have been...complicated. You know with life and school (I actually thought about dropping out of college) and family issues,it was just really hard to post. So please forgive my absence. I can't guarantee that my posts will be constant from here on out, but I will definitely try. Thank you to all of you who have stayed with me during my absence. I honestly didn't think I would be gone that long, but I'm back and I hope I can continue to keep the ball rolling. And take note that I've changed my name from cold harts to something a little more suitable.**

* * *

><p><strong>Leah POV<strong>

I watched Caden bustle around the living room; getting ready for work. I had assured the doctor that he did not need to take me into his office for a checkup. Jesus you jump off of one little cliff and you're suddenly so fragile. Ha if only he knew.

"Are you sure you're okay? I would really like to take you in." said Caden for the millionth time.

"Yes I'm fine",I reassured him,"And you've already taken me in."

"Promise me you won't run off Leah"

"I didn't know I was being held prisoner."

He chuckled at my statement. He turned his attention to buttoning his shirt. I had to admit; he was good looking; beautiful even. His black bangs seemed to fall perfectly over his blue eyes. His straight jaw seemed to twitch every time he smiled. His lips were pink and full. I didn't miss the way his white button up shirt seemed to stick to his sculpted chest. I looked up to see him staring at me. I quickly turned my head; I was blushing. What the hell. I don't blush.

" Leah?" Caden crouched down to the couch. " You sure you're-"

" I said I was fine!" I snapped. A part of me regretted it. He didn't deserve that, but then again it's not like I hadn't done it before. Driving people away was my specialty. He looked down at his hands which were on my knees. He caressed my knee with his thumb. I felt a small sense of comfort.I wasn't use to that and I promptly removed his hands. I still hadn't found out about that girl. I didn't need her walking in on us like this.

" Don't you have to work?" I whispered.

"Yeah sorry." He rose and walked to the door.

"You're welcome to anything in the house, Leah"

He lingered at the door for a while as if he was expecting me to respond. He smiled at me before leaving. That smile. I felt immediate guilt after I heard his car drive off. I should have said thank you. He did save my life after all. I was staying at his house, wearing some strange girl's clothes.I could have left at any time and been back in hel-I mean La Push. So why didn't I go? I had a mother and a brother to take care of. I sighed and wrapped myself tighter in the green sweater Caden had given me. I'm guessing it also belonged to the mysterious girl he refused to talk about. Why would he?I haven't really opened up about my origins. I was the stranger. My mind wondered to La Push. Were they searching for me. Of course not.I was a big girl. I would return when I was ready. I imagine my mother saying that. A shudder went down my back at the thought of her shrugging off my absence. Like I knew she would. What if I didn't return in time to be the beautiful happy maid of honor? Would they worry then? When precious Emily began to complain about me neglecting her. I pushed my head into a pillow and thought of her standing at the altar in her perfect white wedding dress ready to marry the man I had devoted four years of my life to made me retch. She was reaping the benefits of the effort I had put into my relationship with Sam. he wouldn't be the man he was today, the honest respectful leader that he was today, without me. I was the one who encouraged him and loved him and cared for him when no one else would. Yet it was Emily who ended up being the best thing that ever happened to him. I could barely control my stomach and I got up to make my way to the kitchen for some water. I caught my reflection on the way. I looked at myself. Plain old Leah Clearwater. Daughter of two of the most respected people in La Push. I use to think that meant something, but it didn't. I lived under a fake title for years, but at the end of the day that 'title' did nothing. It was just something that made people look twice at me, as if I needed that. Once they realized I wasn't as majestic and strong as the Clearwater name they quickly overlooked me. I didn't anymore. The looks of pity and slight disgust were becoming to much. They didn't know the whole story,the Leah Clearwater that was dying inside. All that was left was the girl I stared at in the mirror. She was empty and cold; her eyes hollow and there was something there that hadn't been there yesterday. A spark. I noticed it immediately because every time it came up I quickly put it out. I refused to let myself be the old Leah Clearwater. The new Leah Clearwater was no longer naive and in love;and it would stay that way. I would eventually put that spark out. What triggered it; I'm not sure, but I would put it out. I wasn't allowed to be happy especially since happiness could be so easily taken away. Although I will say it was nice to see the fire in my eyes again; if just for a moment.

* * *

><p><strong>Caden POV<strong>

"Mr. Walker your 3:30 had to reschedule for tomorrow." I heard my receptionist say over the intercom.

"Thanks Tammy."

"No problem sweetness" I smiled at one of her may nicknames for me. She only called such things when there were no clients in the office. I liked knew when to be professional. Of course there was nothing on between Tammy and I. She addressed everyone as sweety or honey, but things between us were strictly professional. Besides she was married and six months pregnant. She would be leaving soon since her husband got a new job in Seattle. They were leaving after the baby was born and I knew I would have to find a new receptionist. I turned my thoughts to Leah. I didn't know if she had any experience as a receptionist; hell I didn't know anything about her. She would probably be back in La Push before Tammy left. I wouldn't force her to stay, but I would definitely try to convince her to. There was something about her. I would try to convince her to work for me. Pay her what I pay Tammy; maybe more. Just to make sure she was comfortable and happy. Or at least to make sure she wasn't jumping off cliffs.

"Mr. Walker your 12:30 is here." Tammy's sweet voice shook me out of my thoughts.

"Thanks Tammy. Can you get Mrs. Connor to the exam room please?"

"Sure thing."

I head in my hands._'What am I getting my self into?'_ I didn't know anything about Leah, but then again she didn't know anything about me. Maybe I should take her out to dinner and we could just talk. Maybe she'll begin to trust me a little 's asked about Sophie many times. Always referring to her as my wife. I chuckled softly. If only she knew. I wasn't ready to explain that situation to her. Not yet.

"Mr. Walker Mrs. Connor is getting antsy."

"I'm on my way."

I shuffled some papers on my desk to by myself some time. Thinking about Leah got my heart racing. I couldn't shake these feelings. I was debating whether to call the house to see if she was still there, but decided against it. I didn't want to suffocate her. I shook my head at my boyish antics. This girl would be the death of me.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't hate me. Short I know, but its better than 's about time I started putting things together. Please review even if its just to say hi.I do get lonely you know. Night guys.<strong>


	12. New Beginnings

**Alright here we go. I'm glad that the chapter was pretty well received. My computer was acting kinda stupid so I'm glad I was even able to get the chapter up. Another thing that's kinda off topic. Have you seen those Pillsbury crescent commercials where the two guys are like "That's the last crescent" and they agree to split it and one goes that's half and the other says "That's not half". And the lady comes out and says "Guys I have more" and everybody's happy. That same commercial has come on for years but they use different actors. This bugs me. It seems so unoriginal to use the same tactic for YEARS. And let me just say this. I have two older brothers and a little sister. When our mom makes rolls there's never extra. Even when we have guests she makes extra to accommodate them but once the rolls are gone; they're gone. She doesn't magically bring out more and I definitely don't decide to split food with my brother. Our dining room will turn into the Hunger Games before my brothers willingly share food with anyone. Anyways thought I'd just vent for a minute. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You make me feel so loved.**

* * *

><p><strong>Caden POV<strong>

"Leah? I shut the door behind me and looked around the living room. There was no sign of Leah anywhere.

"Leah!" I screamed. No response.

I quickly hurry upstairs and check her room. Empty. I sigh in disappointment and go to sit on the bed. I lower my head in defeat. I don't know why I thought she would actually stay here. I'm sure she has a family back in La Push; maybe a boyfriend. Although I can't really see a girl in a loving relationship jumping off a cliff. I jumped at the sound of the toilet being flushed. My heart began to race. She was still here or I had a friendly burglar. I crept quietly to the bathroom.

"Oh my God. Leah what happened." I exclaimed. She was kneeling next to the tub. Her head was laid on the edge of the tub. Her face was pale,sweaty and her eyes were yellow. The smell of vomit permeated the air. I knelt down next to her and grabbed her face. Her eyes immediately went to my face. At least she was responsive.

"Leah...Leah talk to me." She mumbled something incoherent. I picked her up bridal style and went to my room. I carefully laid her down on the bed.

"Leah?" I softly tapped her face. She mumbled something again.

"What? Leah what is it."She looked up at me.

"I'm sorry Caden."

"Leah sweetheart its okay. Wait here I'll go get you some water." I ran to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. When I returned Leah was sitting up against a pillow.

"This is why I told you to let me take you to my office. You're sicker than a dog." She grunted.

"I said I was fine Caden. I'm just..."

"Just what Leah." She shook her head and took the water. I sighed. I was becoming frustrated. Not with her, but the with the situation itself. I had to get some answers out off her.

"I guess dinner is out of the picture huh." I frowned when I didn't even get a smile out of her. I sat on the bed;far enough away that she wouldn't be uncomfortable. It didn't really stop her from flinching.

"Leah if you want I can order a pizza or we can go out. Or...if you're ready to leave I can-"

"I'm sorry. I've overstayed my welcome."

"Leah wait!" I grabbed her as she got up, but my foot got caught in my sheets and I toppled on top of her. She lost her balance and we fell to the floor. I scrambled to get off of her. She quickly got up and sped to the door.

"Leah please wait.I don't want you to go." I wanted to swallow my words,but it was too late. She stopped and gave me a quizzical look.

"What do you mean you don't want me to leave. What if your wife finds me here." I shook my head at her.

"Sophie is not my wife. I've never been married."She seemed surprise.

"Well who is she then. She must be important if you've got pictures of her everywhere." I was about to answer when an idea came to my mind.

"How about this Leah. Why don't we play a game." She seemed puzzled and her demeanor changed. Her body stiffened as if I was challenging her,which in a way I was.

"What the hell are you talking about Caden?"

"You ask me one question. Then I ask you one question. We continue on until we know each other better."

She grimaced." Doesn't sound like a very fun game."

"Fine lets make it a drinking game. Every time you don't want to answer a question you take a drink." I was trying my best to squish down my doctor instincts. She was just vomiting and now I was allowing her to drink. I began to bit the inside of my cheek at the thought of making her sicker than she already was, but the idea seemed to work...or so I thought.

"I don't have time for this." Leah turned on her heel and made her way downstairs. I ran after her;screaming for her attention.

"Leah wait. Sophie is my sister." She stopped at the end of the stairs and looked up at me.

" Now its your turn. Do you have any siblings?" She scoffed and continued walking.

" Leah stop." She turned again;ready to tell me off, but her foot hit the coffee table and she almost collided with the floor.I hurried to catch her and held her tight against me. She fought me hard,but I held her down. She slapped and punched my chest; screamed let me go over and over again.

"No. It's 's your turn!" I didn't mean to yell at her, but it seemed to do the trick. She stopped fighting me and pressed her face into my chest. I thought she had given up,but to my surprise she was crying. I held her and kept quiet. I'm not sure how long we sat there,but I held her even when she stopped sobbing.

"Seth." I looked down at her puffy grey eyes.

"What?"

"Seth. My brother's name is Seth."

* * *

><p><strong>Sam POV<strong>

I sat outside looking up at the dark sky. Clouds were rolling in and I could smell the rain. I knew we would lose another day of looking for Leah. Seth was the only thing keeping everyone going. The boys wanted to give up and just let Charlie handle it, but Seth would throw a furious tantrum. I gave a somber chuckle. He really loved Leah and finding her had become everyone's priority number one. Which was strange seeing as she jumped off of a cliff. The only reason we kept going was because no one wanted to believe that Leah was dead. We at least wanted to find her body to give her a proper burial. The thought of having to bury her sent a shiver down my spine. When I imagined myself in a black tuxedo I was standing waiting for my bride.I guess things don't always work the way you want them too. Four years ago, my bride was not suppose to be Emily Young. Speaking of Emily...

"Sam please come to bed. It's almost midnight." I looked over to my bride-to-be whowas wrapped up in her favorite robe. Her dark eyes shown bright in the night;so did her deep scars. I quickly looked away so she wouldn't see my guilt.I heard her sigh.I looked down at her dainty feet as she walked over to me. My body relaxed as she wrapped her small arms around my large shoulders.

"She's okay Sam."

"How can you be so fucking sure." I could feel her anger.

"You know I don't like it when you curse." Leah never minded my cursing. Hell Leah could make a sailor blush.I wanted to roll my eyes at Emily,but my imprint wouldn't allow that. My imprint wouldn't allow anything that would make Emily unhappy.

" Sorry Em. I'm just stressed out."

"I wish you were this stressed about our wedding." My imprint bubbled down my anger. Her cousin was missing,possibly dead, and she was worried about her damn wedding. I mean our damn wedding.

" I wanted to talk to you about our wedding Em."

"Good we need to talk about the seating chart."

" That's not exactly what I meant. I think we should postpone the wedding." I couldn't even look her in the eyes, but I could feel the waves of anger coming off of her.

"Why Sam..why?" Her voice was low, but I could here the stress.

"I just thought since Leah was the maid of honor, she shouldn't miss the wedding." I looked away from Emily so she wouldn't see the pain in my eyes. Lying to her was like sticking a hot sword down my throat. I just needed more time to find Leah.

"That's a good idea sweetheart." Emily leaned over and kissed my cheek.I knew she would agree if I made it about her.

"I'm sure she'll be back before the wedding. She just needs some time to think. This whole...transition has been hard for her." That's right Emily didn't know about Leah's last cliff dive.

"You're right." She smiled at me. She liked to be right.

"Come to bed Sam." I followed her into the house like the obedient puppy I was.


End file.
